Today is the launch date of my new book, Caring Well: 90 Self-Care Devotions for the African American Caregiver. I know many of you, like me, lead a business or ministry and provide caregiving for a loved one. I’ve learned the two go hand in hand.
Consequently, I want to share some insights about leading and caring that I learned while taking care of my Mom and writing this caregiver’s devotional book. She taught me to be a leader who cares well.
Leaders Who Care Well Create a Vision
Being the leader that I am, the first thing I did, even before Mom came to live with us, was to envision the space in our home that would become hers. I wanted this space to be welcoming and warm and communicate to Mom that her home was now with us.
When Mom eventually transitioned to living with us full-time at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, we transformed our family room into her living space. She loved the fireplace, the room’s centerpiece, though we never used it. She enjoyed her comfortable recliner chair, and we placed a love seat nearby so my husband and I could spend quality time with her, sharing meals, enjoying family movie nights, and, her all-time favorite, evening prayer.
Earlier that first Spring, I had taken up gardening, and in the Summers, I kept her living area stocked with fresh flowers from my garden. You should have seen her eyes light up when I brought her roses or fluffy white peonies or brilliant yellow daffodils!
What is that welcoming and caring space you create for others and for you? It could be a window into your backyard garden, a reading corner in your home office, or even a hobby that brings you great joy. Find and nurture that space that brings you peace, and make it a priority in your life. That joy and peace that you nurture within, will be evident in your work with others as you lead from that well-nurtured place.
Leaders Who Care Well Maintain a Servant’s Heart
Serving Mom was at the forefront of my mind when she came to live with us. My mother provided a great example and served our family well as a mother, matriarch, grandmother, and friend, and she deserved to be well cared for. There are so many leadership models, but too often, we forget about the servant leadership model, which focuses on the needs of others.
The servant leadership model is prominent among caregivers. But we must also remember that while serving, we must attend to our needs. We care best for others when we care from a healthy place. Mom cared for our family as a leader while putting our needs at the forefront. When it was her time to need care, we could model the lessons we had learned from her. We must remember that as leaders, it is our role to serve as well. Let’s keep this leadership model in mind as we navigate life as leaders in all aspects of our lives.
Leaders Who Care Well Build Collaboration
One of the hallmarks of an effective leader is the ability to create conditions for collaborating with team and department members. We are stronger together. Each member of the team or department brings skills and experience to the table. No leader has all the answers but must tap into the power of the team to succeed. I was blessed to collaborate with home care assistants, nurses, physical therapists, podiatrists, family members, and friends. We became a caring network that attended to my elderly mother and her complex health challenges. I could not do it by myself. No leader is a lone ranger. In every endeavor, the best leaders have support. You will need it as a leader, caregiver, or anything in between.
Leaders Who Care Well Don’t Forget About Themselves
I’ve written significantly about how women take on the super-woman mantle and swoop in to rescue others, caring for everyone except themselves and trying to be everything to everyone, losing themselves.
When Mom first came to live with us, I started trying to do everything for my mother. She quickly reminded me, “Jeanne, I can do some things for myself. Please stop running around trying to do everything, as you are going to wear yourself out!” She was right. Your care situation may differ from mine, but you must carve out space for yourself.
Apply this same mindset to being a leader. And just like I had to trust Mom to maintain a level of independence, trust that you have a good team around you to lighten the load.
So Many Valuable Lessons!
Mom taught me so many valuable lessons about being a leader, caring for others, and caring for myself. Whether you are caring for someone now, have cared for someone in the past, or will be called upon to care for someone in the future, please know there is a significant leadership dimension to the caregiving assignment.
Like leaders in other arenas of life, you must help facilitate a process and hone and cultivate healthy relationships with a team of people who aim to care well for your loved one.
Visit the Caring Well page on my site to learn more about my book, Caring Well: 90 Self-Care Devotions for the African American Caregiver. You can order the book from your favorite bookseller.
Purchase on Christian Book Distributors
When you get your copy, please post a pic of you and Caring Well and tag me on social media (IG, FB, and Linked In) @drjeanneporterking. Use the hashtag #caringwell.
Help me share the message of Caring Well with others. So many people need the encouragement in this book!
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